Christmas Eve's Eve

So it is currently the beginning of Christmas Eve's Eve in my hometown and will be here in Vancouver in approximately an hour and half at the start of this blog post.

Christmas Eve's Eve doesn't get the attention it deserves and quite frankly, sometimes the 23rd of December does a lot for last minute shopper's, those who need to bake goods, and final prep for the big day, since usually Christmas Eve has some sort of family and/or friend Christmas activity.

So this is my props to Christmas Eve's Eve!

Enjoy your last minute scrambling and send out some Happy Christmas Eve's Eve wishes to those you know who might need a bit of extra help.

Happy Christmas Eve's Eve from me to you!

And Happy Christmas Eve's Eve from Shrimpy!

Phobic Insomnia

It is 3am and I really should be asleep.

Not only was I almost asleep at work around 9:30pm but I was doing the head bob on the bus ride home after 1am...and now I'm wide awake.

So then, why am I awake and writing a blog post?

Because I walked into my apartment to my lovely Shrimp playing with a mouse. Immediately my body seized up and I started to cry.

The joy of a rodent phobia.

[Note: I tried to look up actual mouse photos but the images were too much so I reverted to the safe mice of my time]

I love Shrimp but his cat nature to play with his food before he kills it...not so much.

I shrieked and ran into my bedroom where I am now trapped because not only did he not kill it but he let it get away and I don't know what to do. The thought of this critter running around my apartment is driving me nuts, making me want to vomit, and taking everything in me to not just leave and sit outside.

Yes, it's that bad folks.

SO let's look at Wikipedia's definition of a phobia:  A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος, Phóbos, meaning "fear" or "morbid fear") is a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational. In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities 

I'm not 100% sure when or how I developed this phobia but gosh durn it needs to go away. Or Shrimp needs to do his job. :(

So the fear of rodents/mice has 3 different names apparently. AND the first person to treat someone with this became phobic of them herself!! Crazy!!  

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear." --- H.P. Lovecraft

And just because Coleridge makes me happy, "In politics, what begins in fear usually ends in folly."- Coleridge

Super Hiatus Over!

For no reason at all I took a huge break from blogging at the exact moment I was doing a good job at staying on top of it. ;) I think partly because I wasn't sure what to write about. So let's wing this one. One of my friends linked to this article/blog recently and I see so much truth in it for myself but maybe it'll be helpful for other people as well. So why not go through their brilliance and kick off posting again with a BANG!

I will go through Marc's points but add my own commentary from experience (His commentary is super great so please read the original!!!) 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. The truth behind this statement for life is undeniable. It's that one thing I'm sure we've all said in the back out of our heads about someone or a group of someones in our life and yet, we keep going back to them. The problem is how do you stop doing it? At one point, I literally told my best friend that we just couldn't have contact or talk because we were constantly fighting and hurting each other. That needed to end, but instead of talking it out, I threw her into this category. Lesson learned: Know that there are people you DON'T need and that you don't matter too and then take this step. Don't throw away someone who loves you just because it's the "quick fix" in the long run it hurts so much more.

2. Stop running from your problems. Oh hey, for a long time this was my biggest problem in life. Yes, at times I fall into old habits and do this but I also learned the hard way that say...moving to another country doesn't make your problems go away. They get bigger and harder to deal with. I was accused of doing this in my move to Vancouver, and maybe in part moving was running from certain problems but in a way I knew the problems I needed to fix could only be fixed by moving, getting distance and learning about myself and how strong I can be when people allow me to be myself and face things alone. I love Prince Charming's but I am not a weak little Princess. I am pretty awesome and facing my problems has made me that way. So stop running, stand up and look your troubles in the eye. You can't move forward until you do.

3. Stop lying to yourself. I don't think I do. I'm pretty aware of who I am and what I'm capable of. Maybe that's me lying to myself again about my self-awareness.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner Super guilty of this one. Mostly because I don't know what I need a lot of the time, so it's easier for me not to think about it (oh hey #2) and just put my effort into someone else's dreams and passions. I love with all I have so I want those in my life to be happy.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not I find the problem with this for me, is I'm not exactly sure who I am, which means I just have to go with my gut and what feels right for me. If someone has a problem with that then that's their problem not mine. Doesn't mean I don't struggle and compare myself to what other people my age are doing, or what some other girl looks like but I'm aware of it and try to stop the thinking before it gets to wound up.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. 100% guilty. I can't change it even if it's changed me. It's just so hard to let go of some things. The past does make you who you are at this moment in time.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. I think I am finally over this one. I also pretty much know when I'm making mistakes now. I'd much rather live without regrets of doing things and doing them wrong than not acting and missing out.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. This is hard. I can accept my knew mistakes but this goes back to #6. There are mistakes I made in the past that my entire life would be different without them. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure how I feel about where I am right now, so I guess that's the real issue.

9.Stop trying to buy happiness. Was super guilty of this. Still am at times. But I also think spending some money for experiences isn't bad. Things maybe not so much, but going on vacation with someone you love, sure you can't buy the love you have with them, but there are memories to be made on that vacation. I don't know. Money isn't everything but I know how stressful worrying about having enough is.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness Pretty much screwed for this one. ;)

11.Stop being idle. This one for me seems off. I think sometimes my problem is I act TOO much, I try TOO hard, I'm not idle enough to let the world work its magic...

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready. Point and shoot true. And remember, if you weren't and don't succeed, it's okay to make mistakes. #7

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Not sure you can call the last 2.5 years relationships. But yeah, wrong reasons for some. Right for others that turned into weird situations. Nothing can be forced. And really if you are doing this then you're probably doing #10 too.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. I don't really have anything to say to this. Recent events had me accept something new to learn it wasn't the full truth. So accept things as they are.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. I think this could be a sub-point for #5 but it's totally valid to be on it's own since we live in such a competitive world. Just be the best you there is. I keep telling myself that for certain goals. We in ourselves are enough competition without taking on the other 7 billion out there.

16. Stop being jealous of others. This is a hard one because I don't see what I have that other people could want. The pessimist in me...grass is greener type of thinking. Ergo, a big one to work on.

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. I don't really feel sorry for myself. I do complain a lot. But I'm completely aware when doing so that I'm really the only one who can change my actions. I'm not sure I agree that a lot of the horrible things I've gone through have made me stronger or led me to a better place. Mostly, I end up worst off than before. I've just accepted that.

18. Stop holding grudges This used to be HUGE for me, but all the wasted energy was not worth it. I can easily move forward now (I'm not saying I forget I just don't hold all the negativity inside, I let it go)

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level I'm getting better at this. I've still got some 16 year old girl in me though. ;)

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. I stopped doing this a long time ago. If people love me and know me they don't need the explaining and if they don't care to know me they don't deserve it.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. I'm not sure how to break my cycles I've created. Even my "breaks" are cycles and not good ones.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments I don't do this anymore. I did for a very very long time but the small moments get me through now.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. I don't believe in perfect, I just believe in happy, happy is being happy when things aren't perfect because the imperfections are beauty.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance. Super guilty. I don't like failure. Failure is different to me than mistakes. Failing scares me.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. Super guilty again. I just think people get tired of me not being fine so it's easier to just act like its fine.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles I think I do the extreme opposite of this. My troubles and everyone's mistakes are my fault. Hmm....

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone I don't do this. I can't be everything to everyone.

28. Stop worrying so much Guilty! It's part of my nature but I'm working on it. I'm trying to find what I worry about the most and change how I think about it.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. Oh the power of positive thought. What have you gotten me into lately? For real. I mean it works but not always in the way you expect. Just be ready to deal with any unexpected outcomes of what you want.

30. Stop being ungrateful Another big one for me to work on.

So those are my thoughts/experiences in a nutshell with Marc's brilliant list. Hopefully, going into 2012 I can improve a bit more. I'm sure I've got some years to work on it. :)

"I've never dropped anyone I believed in" Marilyn Monroe.

Remember, Remember The Fifth of November!

Today is November 5th, and it's been far too long since I wrote. That being said, It's Guy Fawkes day! Whoohoo The day we remember the Gunpowder plot where Guy tried to overthrow the king in Britain. I was a ninny in first year and headed home after a long day of field studies instead of hitting up some awesome bonfires BUT I've always remembered the 5th of November since. Good movies to watch today (if I wasn't working after school. Shhh I'm not writing this in class) include V for Vendetta (2008) and Guy Fawkes (1923). I would love to curl up with some tea and watch Vendetta tonight. Maybe in the near future! There really aren't any other movies out there which is a shame and a topic best for film tackles. . They look really good actually. I'd watch! Here's a YouTube Video for a quick run down of the history.

And a photo from the exhibit at The Tower of London. So, let's remember, remember the 5th of November today. Maybe we can learn something and create change in our own world by remembering the plot and passion.

A Wonderous Commute

I've been a bit quieter than I would have liked so here I am doing any update about my commute. I live in Vancouver but go to school in Surrey, round trip time approximately 50 minutes from my door to the classroom. However, let's keep in mind I went to Queen's ISC for my first year where I lived in a bubble of 5 minutes from everywhere "on campus" and then lived a 5 minute walk across a park in Kingston from Campus. And well, driving in Hamilton was always fairly quick. So this commute, takes a lot out of me, but it also gives a lot back. I can get work done during the commute and when I can't. Well, when I can't, I still get to ride home watching the fog, the mountains, the ocean, and right now, the fall colours moving around me. And now some of the photos I've taken while enjoying the Skytrain.

"Commuting from New York to Hollywood to do this show gets more interesting every week. Before I used to think the country was just New York on one end and Los Angeles on the other, with sand and mountains in the middle." ~ Bill Cullen

Maslow's Hierarchy

Making a big move always takes a lot more out of you than at first anticipated. This move has tried me in every way possible and has had me doing some crazy introspective thinking. Since, ya know, I don't do enough of that on my own time without all the complications. Anyway, recently I'd been thinking about [note: stressing about life] and Maslow's hierarchy of needs popped into my head. I kept going "I am so far from self-actualization....I wonder where I fall." SO I used my trusty Google device and voila! I have the pyramid at my finger tips.

There's the link to Wikipedia for the entire theory. And after looking, well I can't quite figure out WHERE I fall...I don't think it's possible to "have it all" which means in some areas of my life I am moving towards self-actualization and in some areas I'm probably stuck down in "safety." I'm very glad I took the time to look it up though. It was one of those jolts you need every once and a while to show that you aren't as "bad off" as you think. If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. Abraham Maslow

How Hard it is to Smile...

Being at SFU for the past week I've noticed these wonderful little signs.

Either way, turning this would have made you tilt your head.

I think the best part of these is that people have taken some. We don't know what they needed because they got there and took it. If only people could reach for what the needed and achieve it without their need being a written hope on a poster board. Kudos to the Students at SFU who took the initiative to show optimism and kindess to their fellow students. If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism. Oscar Wilde

It Controls Everyone

My mind has been very unfocused today. Actually, my mind has been too focused on a situation I find myself in that I was in once before. One that nearly killed my best friend, ruined friendships, changed lives and controlled everyone's life for a very long time. For some the control is still continuing. For me, it's always there and has made me hyper aware to my own body issues, as well as to how my friends, family, the media and the world look at "health" and the human body. My best friend when I was a teenager struggled and probably still struggles since Eating Disorders are diseases and don't go away. They are dealt with day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute with every sip and chew a person takes, with every step or push-up. The constant need to be thin and control that one thing in life to make things seem ago is ever present. Now being a 20-something my best friend is starting her battle it seems to me and she's an Ocean away. When I was a teenager dealing with this, it was new, I didn't know exactly what I was facing, I didn't realize the toll it would take on me, on my other best friend, on my relationships outside of the ED. It's not a simple solution and never knowing if your best friend is going to make it to her 16th, 17th, 18th birthday makes you go a bit crazy yourself. It puts so much strain on your relationship and making life or death decisions about who to tell and how to help makes you grow up in ways faster and stunts you in other ways. Anorexia, bulimia, exercise anorexia, and all the combination's in between scare me to no end. I worry when my own self-esteem drops and I worry about gaining weight. I worry when I try on clothes and they don't fit me like they did the week before. I worry that I will fall into the disease and watch my friends and family watch me die slowly because I can't see myself the way they do. I worry when I look in the mirror and see someone different from what the truth is.

I worry even though I will never let this happen to me. Silver lining in every life situation. The truth is in our world I don't think these diseases get the proper education and attention. Instead our attention is focused on the photo-shopped images of people who don't exist. Our attention is focused on "surgery" and "fitness programs' that don't take into account individualism and how each body functions uniquely and on various levels of caloric intake and exercise. As we progress as a species our vanity becomes harder and harder to hide from, our insecurities become more prevalent and when we can't control our lives we reach for something that is controllable-our bodies are our own. My life-long friend denies she has a problem. States she is just a "health nut" yet when I say her body is probably entering starvation mode and that's why she isn't losing weight on a "renowned" fitness trainer program she says "well eventually it'll eat the fat?" and that when she doesn't get results she eats less to get them while working out everyday from 90 to 120 minutes. I'm scared for her and I'm scared for our world when on the Facebook pages for these fitness kicks participants post pro-ana propaganda and their co-participants write "haha awesome" and "so true" underneath. I'm angry that the fitness trainer hasn't removed the images and addressed the issue.

This is the image that was posted. Why Women and Men feel the need to fit into a cookie-cutter image drives me batty. I fall into it as well on more than an occasion. I think we've conditioned ourselves too far to not to. I just know the affects that ripple out from the diseases that take hold if we fall too much in step with striving for perfection. Humanity deserves more. From itself and from each other.

Always remember this.

And this are true. If only scales could be programmed to tell everyone this. "There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore. I am thawing.” ― Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls

New Beginnings

Today I opened a new chapter in the higher education journey of Kathleen. It was my first day at Simon Fraser University for Public Relations. It was in short, overwhelming.

The Fundamentals covered today opened my eyes and what I thought Public Relations was wasn't quite correct. That's okay though I am excited to move forward and learn something new again.



I want to soak it all in and participate my little heart out.

We'll see were this road takes me.

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers."

Daniel J. Boorstin

Jackpot!

I hit the Fashion Karma Jackpot this last month.

One Saturday I got out of work and was taking the bus home when I stumbled upon the end of a street fair on Main. I enjoyed walking up the middle of the street and entered into the vintage store "Temple of a Modern Girl" and upon leaving I had achieved success in locating not one, but TWO, giant bulky tacky sweaters. For less than I imagined. $35 for the both. Jackpot!



Sweater Number 1. Lovely, a bit tacky, a bit wonderful.



Tacky GIANT cozy sweat Number 2. So much love. So much cozy.



Close-up view!

These weren't as hard to find as I thought and although not exactly what I pictured...I love them!

Now once again, Destiny intervened last Friday. I was exhausted, it had been a long week, but I had errands. I went to the bank that was closest to me-on Commercial Drive-after...I got enamored with the vintage shopping...and ended up spending all my time in one store "Mintage." Although the staff here were not helpful, or very friendly, since they were too busy trying on clothes to buy for themselves, the product was exquisite.

I landed my leather skirt for 18 Dollars!!!!! REAL LEATHER! Black! The thrill I have cannot be explained!



Now, the best part is I was able to purchase a wonderful sequin Butterfly Top.




I wasn't originally going to wear them together...but I actually think that they could work with the right shoes of course!



Trying them on in Mintage...


All that's left is checking off those knee high boots...keep your eyes peeled for me.

Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.
Coco Chanel

The Kat's Table

I am so punny.

I semi-impromptu attended an event held by the Vancouver International Writer's Festival this evening. I say semi-impromptu because I had looked into attending a few weeks ago but then with life the event slipped my mind.

I'm so glad I remembered though!

Tonight I heard Micheal Ondaatje read from his new novel "The Cat's Table" and then have a nice q&a and book signing.


The event didn't quite start at 7:30 as the start time promised but that's what happens with these sort of things!

I sat alone but had lovely discussions with the folks around me. The lady to my right told me I looked "very avant garde" and "Very French." I was wearing my Banana Republic Beige Trench and my Paris beret! Oh la la!

But back to the event, it took place at St. Andrew's Wesley Church on Nelson Street @ Burrard. The church was pretty big and it was packed!!!

As Ondaatje read from his new novel in his authoritatively soothing voice the audience laughed at appropriate times.

When the question period began he remarked "I have to think and talk at the same time?"

Although, Ondaatje took the ship in the 50s from Sri Lanka to England just as his character Micheal did, he does not remember the journey and so was able to invent it.

The title "The Cat's Table" came about while he was having a phone conversation with someone in Germany who remarked she had been sat at the cat's table. Ondaatje had to ask what it was and his phone partner explained it was the worst table at an event. For a while it seemed to hold the novel together for him.

The audience question period went fairly well despite the acoustics in the church weren't all that great (odd for a church) and the one person who felt they needed to hear themselves talk and told an exceptionally long story that wasn't relevant to The Cat's Table. Luckily, Ondaatje was very diplomatic and guided this person to sit back down when she tried to ask a second question by pointing out the line behind her.

One of the best parts of the Q&A was when he discussed the two landscapes that have shaped him and his craft. He gives dues to his roots and where he put down roots. I think that's very noble and very true to his literature.

I got in line to have my book signed and was it moved along I looked around and noticed who I thought was David Chariandy. One of the VIWF staff walked by me so I asked just to make sure.

It was him! I had to make a decision and I decided that the line would still be there and David might not. Hoping out of line I went and introduced myself to him. Reading his novel Soucouyant for my Fourth year English class helped me huge to deal with my Grandfather's dementia. I even passed the novel along to my mother for her to read and understand further.



I am so very glad that I jumped out of line. My heart was such a flutter and I was so starstruck!

I got my book signed by Ondaatje and floated home.

The past is still, for us, a place that is not safely settled.
Michael Ondaatje

Fall Fashion

I had been scouring the new Vintage shops in my area. Which was overwhelming for many reasons.

1) The sheer amount in Vancouver is INSANE!

2) Though the clothes are vintage the prices reflect Vancouver. Not what my little Ontario self is used to.

3) I was lost in SO many wonderful things!!

My head spinning and after trying on closets of clothes. I figured it out. I wasn't looking for anything specific. I wasn't focusing.

Key to vintage shopping: Know what you are looking for.

That being said, I have decided my next purchases will be.

A) A Leather Skirt. Ideally, this will be black or red and fitted. BUT I will consider a dark purple or blue. And vintage of course.



B) A giant bulky sweater. Something a bit tacky will be best.



That one can be found at Forever21. I think the colour is brilliant and perfect for Fall!

c) I need flat over the knee boots. I'm kicking myself for not buying the Kate&Mel's I found last year. I'm thinking a Grey or Cognac would be great!

I like those but the have had trouble with Quality from Aldo before.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Oscar Wilde

I love Oscar Wilde!

Laundry Tip!

Allo all!

I ran into some mess at work last week when I spilled so much tomato soup on my white work shirt! One of Two! Which meant it needed to be washed ASAP!!

However, due to moving pains I'm still in the process of getting all the "essentials" in my apartment and did not have laundry detergent OR coins for the laundry machine.

Uh oh!

What is a girl to do????

I filled my bathtub with hot hot water (I rinsed the shirt in question off at work, luckily I had brought one to change into!) and threw the shirt in.

I then used Dawn Dishsoap where I had spilled, rubbed it in, and let it sit.



Came back a little bit later and the stain was almost gone! So I rubbed, rubbed, rubbed where the stain was (just the shirt against the shirt).

Voila! Stain gone!

I really felt this tip should be passed on, just in case!

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J. Peter

Toodles!

One Step Forward.

Two steps sideways.

I've made a really big move in my life for various reasons. It was a long time coming and leaving home whether for good or bad needed to occur, however, everyone knows that cat's don't adjust well to change and are very stuck in their ways.

This move has been really hard for me in more ways than I imagined. And I'm not going to pretend I don't end up crying myself to sleep most nights or that I am thrilled I decided to move so far out of my comfort zone.

I still don't see these potholes as steps back though. Two steps back would be where I was a year ago, in the same position but living with no fear of failure and looking no where but back.

I have moved forward and to the side. My life has never followed any traditional path to anything, so why would it start that now.

I also decided to try my hand at painting, to ease some of the extra stress, anxiety and sadness that I'm experiencing. I have "completed" four paintings so far and each is so different from the rest but each one calmed me down and focused my mind.

I'm not sure I could make a living off painting but I am sure that I need to get back to my creative roots so I can continue on my forward march.



"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babve, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
— Marilyn Monroe

Yogini Don't Got No Problems.

While in Kingston I was introduced to Bikram's Hot Yoga. A 90-min yoga class completed in a heated room. I fell in love.

However, due to money (and excuses) I only went to classes once a week when the money was donated to charity-so the cost was reduced.

Unfortunately, my fourth year became too busy for me to continue to practice. Between classes, work, and synchronized swimming (usually 4 times a day) there just wasn't room to fit yoga in.

Moving home I tried to find a Bikram's Yoga to restart my practice. The problem lay in the fact that Hamilton was not yet "up to date" on these practices when I was looking and fear got in my way of trying something new and different. (Kathleen is pretty good at sticking to things she knows...though she is trying to break this habit)

There were a few "hot" yoga places but nothing really got me excited. Then out of the blue? I'm not even sure how I found it but I discovered Moksha Yoga Hamilton in May.



Signing up for one month unlimited to get me started, I wasn't sold the first couple times. It is calmer and more serene than Bikram's yoga. Which is what I was used to. The classes also range in length. So walking out of the 60 minute class I felt a bit "ripped" off so to speak.

Then something changed. I let go of the expectations I had and stopped comparing. This isn't just exercise but it's living in the moment, breathing out the negative, finding your intention for an hour, for a day, for a week, for your life, and it's moving with that breathe to get you where you want to be.

Unfortunately, I got pretty sick for a while and missed out on the last week or so of my monthly pass. But I had planned to continue and resigned up for their Summer Unlimited package despite leaving in August.

I've now gone to yoga 8 days straight, tomorrow will make 9 and even though some days I do "better" than others in regards to the postures I stop worrying and focus on my breathing. So long as I'm giving 110% of the energy I have THAT day, I feel good about my practice.

The series is similar and different from Bikram's but I take it as it is. I try to slow my movements and take my time getting into the postures, being aware of my entire body and when things get tough...wait for it..wait for it...getting back in touch with my...wait...wait...breathe!

I'm trying to take this breathe approach with life. I'm also trying to soak up everything the Yogini's tell me about postures and yoga. I also love when they correct my postures. I like knowing my practice isn't "perfect" but it's me.




Standing Tree.

Time to get ready to Shavasana. ;) (See what I did there??)

Namaste [The God/Goddess Spirit within me recognizes and honors the God/Goddess Spirit within you.]

Oh Canada!

I have been very quiet the last month and a half. Truth is, I got rejected to my Graduate programs (Thanks Creative Writings UBC and UVic) and it shook me up. Rejection, even when you know it is probable, is hard. It is even harder when it is based around your hopes and dreams.

So here I am. Trying to force myself back into the swing of things.

I have finished working at the shoe store (and my shoe collection is happy for that). June 30th was my last day, which meant I could head to (another entry) Moskha Yoga, pack and head to my friend's house for a sleep over before OTTAWA!

Yes, I did get up at 5am in order to celebrate Canada's birthday in Ottawa with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

We arrived around 11am, got ready and headed downtown getting to Parliament Hill to see the empty carriage that carried Will and Kate being pulled away.



On the way down we stopped for some tasty, unsweetened aka perfect, lemonade thanks to a life-long friend and her silliness (but really here awesomeness).

Upon arriving at the Hill the amount of people was overwhelming and moving through the crowd my friends and I held hands like in kindergarten in order to stay together. We got in front of the big screen and I oohed and awed over Kate's fabulous fashion sense and outfit. Then I "ewed" at Stephen Harper. We tried to get some photos off the screen and a few were successful!



The crowds.



Will and Kate singing "God Save the Queen"


I will say this though, the amount of infants and dogs was ridiculous. Crowds and heat of those proportions are NO place for the young, elderly (who really weren't present) and animals. On top of that, the overly rotund pug that needed to do his business on the sidewalk in the middle of the crowd...was not amusing.

HOWEVER, we had a tasty lunch at Dunn's and then headed to the National Gallery (Free admission!) to get out of the heat. We wandered through the gallery and I got to "teach" my friends a little from my first year Art History knowledge.



Outside the National Gallery.

Honestly, we were tired and Mother Canada smiled on us. We walked out into a gorgeous atrium where we had a nice 20-30 minute nap...that was interrupted when a security guard came to check on us. I'm assuming they were getting some intoxicated persons wandering in and wanted to keep everyone safe.

At this point though we figured we could keep going and headed outside to the "club." The amount of energy some of the dancers had was off the wall so we soaked up some rays and enjoyed their dancing until I spotted the Quality Street Street team and we all know I love chocolate....and Quality Street is one of my favourites!

I trotted over and asked what was happening...taking handfuls of the orange cream chocolates. Turns out if you followed them on Twitter via your mobile and showed them they'd give you a free limited edition tin with Will and Kate on it!! Obviously my cell was not cooperating but the lovely Street Team let me have a tin and so I followed them once my mobile complied. :D

Lots of tasty treats for me! (I still have a few left, don't you worry ;))

We ended up slowly making our way back to our humble abode through the market, and along the canal, got showered and rested and then headed back downtown for the concert! Well, really we missed most of it BUT we caught Great Big Sea and the night matched our day. Completely perfect.



Analicia's First Beaver Tail in the Market.



The Fireworks were sensational and we headed to the market and ended our night at one of their great pubs saluting Alexander Keith!



I really just had the most perfect Canada Day. Thank you Ottawa and lovelies for that!

To end. Let's all look at how cute my outfit was. :D

Keep Calm and Carry On

I have a lot of blog posts running around in my head but I thought today I'd do something a bit short and then leave a list of what's to come. Partly so I don't forget and partly to keep myself accountable.

I've been feeling better about life lately and I'm not sure if that's just a change in attitude based on discussions and interactions with the wonderful friends I have in my life. Or if it's because I recently caved and purchased one (then a second) Mala from Tiny Devotions- http://www.lovetinydevotions.com/

I first got the Mala of Intuition and Dreams to help bring me back to a place of calm and ease. Get back in touch with me. I've always been really intuitive about life and had intense dreams but the past year has been rough for me being home and cluttered in life. And the previous couple years were just tough for many reasons. My friend also pointed out that the colour would go wonderful with my eyes. Fashion and spirituality!

Then I got the Creative Catalyst. I've been working on a novella for too long it seems and just in general my creative energy has been lacking. Tie it together with the connection to the heart chakra and it was as if this Mala was designed with me in mind. How lovely.

The two go perfect together and are wonderful apart.Whether this is 'just the Mala's' or a combination of wonderful friends, change of perspective and the Mala's. I have not felt so much like me in a very long time. Let's just see if this sticks once all my big plans get set into true motion. ;)

Almost at the end of my Friday Night

All in all I feel great about my Friday night spent reading. It's been a long while since I've been able to set up a night like this for myself. My parents don't get that when I read I don't want to be disturbed and constant interruptions (not of my own accord) are just bothersome.

So I made a pot of Orange Pekoe/Green Tea poured myself a mug. Light my opium incense cone and WOW the smoke! I had it beside me originally but I'm not a smoker in any capacity and the incense was too much. So it ended up being moved to a TV tray further away and under the ceiling in order to get the best smell around me without inhaling directly smoke clouds! Huzzah! First win of the evening!

I thought that it may have been a tough read for me, I love my Fantasy novels, I love my Victorian Novels, I am loving my Canadian novels...this was going to be something new but I had gotten a taste of Hunter S. Thompson's writing style in October and something intrigued me. I am not as confused as I thought I'd be in this novel about drug use and trips. And for a girl that is trip-free since she's drug free. I think that's a WIN too!

However, I'm no fool to imagination and all the fun that comes with it. So I'm really rather enjoying Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and am excited to see where it takes me.

The tea turned into some Skinny Tea from DAVIDsTea and then some Raspberry Green Tea. All excellent and enjoyable choices.

I also encountered a random text message from someone I was not expecting-someone I met over a month ago and just figured that was that. But, once again animal instincts prove true and another WIN for the night. I will leave that as it is. Nice and vague.

Now since the break-in last summer I've been jittery so the tv has been on in the background. Criminal Minds that I've already seen just for noise. Shrimp has also been an interesting character this evening and such a bundle of love.

I'm ending my night by uploading and emailing my friend her photos from her trip (for which she had to borrow my camera hers lost in the mess of moving).

And to end:

Hallucinations are bad enough. But after a while you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip—the possibility that any freak with $1.98 can walk into Circus-Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head. No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs. Reality itself is too twisted.

My Friday Night

About to start my Friday night and am very excited. This is what it consists of: tea, opium incense, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Will update later in the eve.

Those moments that make you smile...

As I discovered fairly quickly, living at home means that I have to report to someone again and means that I gain weight. Tasty treats are right on hand...and if they aren't usually Dad is willing to go get them if you make a passing comment. SIGH. Yes, I live a hard life.


But in all seriousness, I have put on a few pounds that really need to come off. I've been working on it and constantly exercised since being home but sometimes when stress abounds so do the pounds! I've finally gotten to lower my stress enough my hormones are chilling out and I'm getting back to feeling "decent" which is excellent!

I think part of this progress is that I can get a few sets of stairs in each week now that it is warming up. The cold air actually hurts my chest and so not enjoyable. I like enjoyable workouts, it means I'll keep doing them.

This all leads to me doing the stairs Saturday afternoon and running into an older man (okay, he was probably "old") with a a cane on them, slowly walking up. I figured he had just done some stuff downtown or was heading to something up on the mountain. But no! He was walking the stairs for fun! He had his cane and the stairs are metal with holes in them so not the most forgiving but he just kept on trucking. It really made me smile.

Food for thought...

The Adventure Continues

So another epic adventure in Hamilton today. On my last one where I got my wicked $5 hats, I had noticed that we missed a new vintage store on Ottawa street...or rather I hadn't noticed it before. The Button Pushers!

Today, I got to go into this store and I walked out with some pretty great finds!



Fabulous Summer dress, $16



$20 Jackie O! I am in love.

Romper Time!

This morning I decided to just check out Forever21 on a whim. See what they were doing lately. Maybe head out there and get some dresses but I was happily surprised to discover an entire page of ROMPERS. ROMPERS ARE BACK!!!!!

People don't love rompers. I'm not people and I love Rompers!

Now, that is not to say they can't be done terribly. I've seen it. I've lived it. Ooh sigh.

However! Rompers are sexy, sassy, cute and fun when done correctly. Pick a style that is a right FIT for your body. Try them on before you buy them! Make sure they aren't too short. Too low. Too tight. Too BIG! (You don't want to look like you are wearing a sack!).

Rompers can be worn very casually or you can go out to the clubs in them! So many varieties!! They are light and just as easy as dresses but sometimes you just want legs!

Take a look at some of the styles Forever21 has to offer right now...

Red Stripes.




Very Casual. Potential Beach Cover up?



Let's go party!




Happy Romping!