Thursday, December 15, 2011

Super Hiatus Over!

For no reason at all I took a huge break from blogging at the exact moment I was doing a good job at staying on top of it. ;) I think partly because I wasn't sure what to write about. So let's wing this one. One of my friends linked to this article/blog recently and I see so much truth in it for myself but maybe it'll be helpful for other people as well. So why not go through their brilliance and kick off posting again with a BANG!
I will go through Marc's points but add my own commentary from experience (His commentary is super great so please read the original!!!) 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. The truth behind this statement for life is undeniable. It's that one thing I'm sure we've all said in the back out of our heads about someone or a group of someones in our life and yet, we keep going back to them. The problem is how do you stop doing it? At one point, I literally told my best friend that we just couldn't have contact or talk because we were constantly fighting and hurting each other. That needed to end, but instead of talking it out, I threw her into this category. Lesson learned: Know that there are people you DON'T need and that you don't matter too and then take this step. Don't throw away someone who loves you just because it's the "quick fix" in the long run it hurts so much more.

2. Stop running from your problems. Oh hey, for a long time this was my biggest problem in life. Yes, at times I fall into old habits and do this but I also learned the hard way that say...moving to another country doesn't make your problems go away. They get bigger and harder to deal with. I was accused of doing this in my move to Vancouver, and maybe in part moving was running from certain problems but in a way I knew the problems I needed to fix could only be fixed by moving, getting distance and learning about myself and how strong I can be when people allow me to be myself and face things alone. I love Prince Charming's but I am not a weak little Princess. I am pretty awesome and facing my problems has made me that way. So stop running, stand up and look your troubles in the eye. You can't move forward until you do.

3. Stop lying to yourself. I don't think I do. I'm pretty aware of who I am and what I'm capable of. Maybe that's me lying to myself again about my self-awareness.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner Super guilty of this one. Mostly because I don't know what I need a lot of the time, so it's easier for me not to think about it (oh hey #2) and just put my effort into someone else's dreams and passions. I love with all I have so I want those in my life to be happy.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not I find the problem with this for me, is I'm not exactly sure who I am, which means I just have to go with my gut and what feels right for me. If someone has a problem with that then that's their problem not mine. Doesn't mean I don't struggle and compare myself to what other people my age are doing, or what some other girl looks like but I'm aware of it and try to stop the thinking before it gets to wound up.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. 100% guilty. I can't change it even if it's changed me. It's just so hard to let go of some things. The past does make you who you are at this moment in time.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. I think I am finally over this one. I also pretty much know when I'm making mistakes now. I'd much rather live without regrets of doing things and doing them wrong than not acting and missing out.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. This is hard. I can accept my knew mistakes but this goes back to #6. There are mistakes I made in the past that my entire life would be different without them. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure how I feel about where I am right now, so I guess that's the real issue.

9.Stop trying to buy happiness. Was super guilty of this. Still am at times. But I also think spending some money for experiences isn't bad. Things maybe not so much, but going on vacation with someone you love, sure you can't buy the love you have with them, but there are memories to be made on that vacation. I don't know. Money isn't everything but I know how stressful worrying about having enough is.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness Pretty much screwed for this one. ;)

11.Stop being idle. This one for me seems off. I think sometimes my problem is I act TOO much, I try TOO hard, I'm not idle enough to let the world work its magic...

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready. Point and shoot true. And remember, if you weren't and don't succeed, it's okay to make mistakes. #7

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Not sure you can call the last 2.5 years relationships. But yeah, wrong reasons for some. Right for others that turned into weird situations. Nothing can be forced. And really if you are doing this then you're probably doing #10 too.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. I don't really have anything to say to this. Recent events had me accept something new to learn it wasn't the full truth. So accept things as they are.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. I think this could be a sub-point for #5 but it's totally valid to be on it's own since we live in such a competitive world. Just be the best you there is. I keep telling myself that for certain goals. We in ourselves are enough competition without taking on the other 7 billion out there.

16. Stop being jealous of others. This is a hard one because I don't see what I have that other people could want. The pessimist in me...grass is greener type of thinking. Ergo, a big one to work on.

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. I don't really feel sorry for myself. I do complain a lot. But I'm completely aware when doing so that I'm really the only one who can change my actions. I'm not sure I agree that a lot of the horrible things I've gone through have made me stronger or led me to a better place. Mostly, I end up worst off than before. I've just accepted that.

18. Stop holding grudges This used to be HUGE for me, but all the wasted energy was not worth it. I can easily move forward now (I'm not saying I forget I just don't hold all the negativity inside, I let it go)

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level I'm getting better at this. I've still got some 16 year old girl in me though. ;)

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. I stopped doing this a long time ago. If people love me and know me they don't need the explaining and if they don't care to know me they don't deserve it.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. I'm not sure how to break my cycles I've created. Even my "breaks" are cycles and not good ones.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments I don't do this anymore. I did for a very very long time but the small moments get me through now.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. I don't believe in perfect, I just believe in happy, happy is being happy when things aren't perfect because the imperfections are beauty.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance. Super guilty. I don't like failure. Failure is different to me than mistakes. Failing scares me.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. Super guilty again. I just think people get tired of me not being fine so it's easier to just act like its fine.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles I think I do the extreme opposite of this. My troubles and everyone's mistakes are my fault. Hmm....

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone I don't do this. I can't be everything to everyone.

28. Stop worrying so much Guilty! It's part of my nature but I'm working on it. I'm trying to find what I worry about the most and change how I think about it.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. Oh the power of positive thought. What have you gotten me into lately? For real. I mean it works but not always in the way you expect. Just be ready to deal with any unexpected outcomes of what you want.

30. Stop being ungrateful Another big one for me to work on.

So those are my thoughts/experiences in a nutshell with Marc's brilliant list. Hopefully, going into 2012 I can improve a bit more. I'm sure I've got some years to work on it. :)

"I've never dropped anyone I believed in" Marilyn Monroe.

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